Actually this whole weekend has been a little unnerving. One of the primary investors is being hit hard by the current economy, and may be pulling out of the project. Which, with three and a half weeks to go, will introduce a serious complication. LOL
Of course, that was always one of the main points of 23E Studios, to devise a project so ambitious it could only fail, and then find a way to make it succeed.
I meet with that investor today to talk.
Then I begin improvising. As deflated as I feel fearing this is coming, I must say I’m also a little excited. Up until now everything has gone so smoothly…
Too smoothly. The film was going to be boring.

Another aspect of the unnerving weekend was that our potential architectural model maker leaves town on the 22nd of June. And he can’t give me a bid, let alone start building, until I get some measurements from a crew member, who hasn’t had a chance to get the measurements from her studio. So, over the last few days I’ve been watching the narrow window of opportunity for the architectural model close. Which, given that this afternoon we could conceivably lose half of the remaining money I was expecting, is probably for the best.

Our press release and other promotional materials that were supposed to be finished this weekend, are all tardy. So, those deadlines have been on my mind a lot, too.

Having said that, we’re now in a place where the project is simply unstoppable. And this is really the part of the project that is most thrilling for me, being caught up in something that is beyond control. The next few weeks can be nothing but pure improvisation. I get to live my art the way I play my music, by the seat of my pants; constantly adjusting to my partners and peers; sometimes leading or throwing out a riff we all ride, other times having to change direction on a dime when they introduce a new line. It’s probably a poor metaphor, but that is one of the ways I think about Disembody - it is one of my compositions, but the sound is spread out over the course of a year, impossible to hear with human senses and on a human time-scale.

I used to compose works that required performing acts of sound throughout a day or a week or a year. All the while recording my life, sometimes around the clock for weeks. Those recordings were then compressed to discover the rhythms inherent, or to find the composition of the sound acts within the music of my life.
Disembody is very much like one of those compositions, except this time our final product is a film. And this time it is a piece of music improvised by an orchestra of my closest friends, as opposed to being a solo work within the orchestra of my life.

Disembody is a unique feeling. There’s a wonderfully complex and seemingly contradictory feeling I get (and I think many performers do) before playing music with people. The mix of fear and excitement, feeding each other, hopped-up nerves. It’s a great feeling, really addictive.
Normally I have that feeling in the hours leading up to a performance or a studio session.
But for the last few weeks I’ve had that sensation coursing though my days and nights. It comes in waves. But I’ve never had it so regularly, so frequently before.
Except maybe on my first oRSo tour, when I’d get it before the show each night.
Except now I get it at the most random times. It’s strange how trepidation and fear can be so addictive and thrilling.

Anyway, the past three days I’ve experienced a very heightened sense of deflation mixed with the thrill of having to overcome a challenge.

So, having talked about the things not going right, let me mention that they are greatly outweighed by things going right. Stel and I met last night and he is bringing a couple of eight port gigabit switches so we can set up a solid network in the gallery. As well, he’s bringing several wireless access points. And he came up with a simple and reliable way to pull off the ending of the film, that doesn’t require a video switcher.
Phil and Libby are both raring to go on the project now that their wedding is behind them.
All of my crew members blow me away with their dedication and skills. Erin and Jonny have worked tirelessly on the website (our main promotional tool), posters, the confessional, screen printing, the arcade and a ton of other aspects; Amy is bending over backwards trying to help find funding and food donations; Carol-Anne and Keturah are spending hundreds of hours creating the interior design and all of its elements; Carson and Ted and David are all working on the build out; marcella, elise, Alex and Skye are pooling their resources to fashion an incredibly organized and efficient shoot; Hanif, Han and Ote are all working to make the promotion and conceit of the project as broad but focused as possible. Janet and Arthur are going far beyond the call of nepotism in accommodating all my demands and desires. And Susan, of course, is simply mind-blowing in her openness to letting us do whatever we dream up.

So, all in all, despite missed deadlines and a few setbacks, I find my spirits remain high. I’ll weigh in again after I meet with the investor. Maybe I’ll even have news on how we’ll need to rejigger the project to accommodate such a substantial loss.

Last weekend I was in Chicago for Stel’s wedding. It was beautiful to see him and Angela so happy.

I stayed with Phil and Libby (below), and we enjoyed a few brief convos on Disembody. I’ll be back in Chicago in two and a half weeks for their marriage. So, in essence we’ll have three newlyweds on the set. Which is cool.

After Stel’s wedding Phil and Lib and I ate at Healthy Food Lithuanian Restaurant on the South Side. Delicious!

I got in to SF Sunday night and went straight over to Keturah and Alex’s place in Berkeley. We were going to go over the budget for the interior design and the tech needs, but instead I saw a bottle of Jameson’s, and the next thing I knew it was 3am, I was drunk, and we had burned through 4 or 5 episodes of Gossip Girl, and the documentary Models by Ulrich Seidl.

Well, the worms haven’t killed me yet.

Worked on some financing issues yesterday. Also tried to get ready to go to Chicago this afternoon. I’m meeting with Phil and Libby and attending Stel’s wedding tomorrow. I also made some stuff for the Forever What? installation in SF in one week.

In the afternoon I took a break and sat down to educate myself. I watched the Symbiopsychotaxiplasm: Take One DVD docu feature on Wm Graves. Then I watched Symbio 2 1/2. Then The Horrors of Malformed Men and The Final Programme. These were loaned to me on VHS by the incredible Bonnie Banks. Symbio I watched on Skye’s advice. Simply fabulous. Mix that with F for Fake, and we’re starting to get close to what I envision we might get from Disembody. Though what I’m shooting for is that combination slammed face first into a combination of The Passion of Joan of Arc and The Fifth Element. That’s a bastard child I couldn’t help falling in love with.

One thing I find unfortunate is how few of Wm. Greaves other films are available, affordably, on DVD.


The Horrors of Malformed Men by Teruo Ishii


The Final Programme by Robert Fuest

Well, thanks to the incredible David Meckel, I got an appointment with an architectural model firm tomorrow. We’re going to talk budget and schedule. And we may yet have an architectural model for this show.

In other news, I just got back from Chicago where I met with Stel. He and I discussed the projection and audio system for the theater. I checked out the system he has installed in his house. We’re borrowing that projector. It is beautiful. Though we discovered that I had completely misunderstood him when he described its capacity to me earlier. So, a few weeks back the theater went from 16′ wide by 20′ deep to 16′ wide by 10′ deep (I mistakenly thought that was the maximum throw of the projector). However in meeting with Stel I discovered the throw is indeed fine at 20′, and so the theater magically grew back to 20′. I think this news may have given Carol, Keturah and Carson a heart attack.

As well, it looks like Stel may invest some money in the project, which is huge news.

I also met with Phil and Libby in Chicago. We went over the soundtrack and recording studio, which was assuring.

Last night I met with my sister and her partner. I meet with them again tomorrow evening to discuss their contributions to the show. I think Ali is going to make crew hoodies. I am so excited to be able to give something like that to all the amazing people who are making this art work.

Her partner Terry is a fabulous artist, working in wood and metal. I think he may make the concession price lists that are installed on the wall behind the counter folk in the lobby.

Finally, my friend Tiffiny took a few investor pamphlets to hand out to her clients. She is a high-end Chi Nei Tsang healer. She works with a lot of people who are supporters of the arts, and might be interested in this project.